small things that help
it's only the beginning of 2026, but here are shifts I'm already loving + a Letter Club update!
I don’t know about you but the first week of January felt rather like an entire month rolled into 7 days.
Perhaps this was due to the fact I threw a wild black tie New Years Eve party with all four of my sisters (the dream) and hosted friends for about a week (the best way to start a new year), but I felt like that first work week of January was rough. Long. Filled with devastating news and horrific headlines, enough to make me look wide-eyed at my close friend on a recent Saturday morning around a bonfire and ask:
So …. how exactly do we do this?
“This” being life. The living. The going forward. The one step in front of the other. The strange reality that my roommate buying a milk frother so we can make lattes at home makes me deliciously happy while at the same time I’m reading stories of a woman being shot in the face and children in Gaza are still dying and people taking to the streets in Iran and being killed in mass quantities.
But then our neighbor comes out as we’re mid-conversation and over the fence hands us chocolate chip cookies she just made, still warm from the oven. Her husband is having health issues, breathing problems I think (aren’t we all having a hard time breathing right now?), and how kind it is to be given cookies in the midst of ill health and elderly love.
This is how.
The kindness of neighbors. Coffee. Saturday mornings. Honest prayers.
Walks with friends. Preferably with no phone. Preferably to delight in the beauty of pale pink camellias or your tiny grey-haired neighbor’s enormous bear of a dog.
A Brick. I know, I know. Everyone wants you to buy something but this is actually worthwhile and has made me more peaceful than I expected. My brain feels a little bit more manageable, less distracted. It actually lives up to the hype and is slowly changing my life.
Dance in the rain. I was just on vacation with my family - delight! - and on our last night, a massive storm rolled in across the ocean. As we sat curled up under the shelter of the patio munching on fried chicken sandwiches and ceviche, a mom and her little daughter - maybe 4 years old - came out and kicked off their shoes and tipped their faces to the sky and held hands, spinning and twirling, dancing in the rain. It was beautiful.
Support the people doing good in the world. There are many people and many organizations! In your neighborhood and across the globe. One of my favorites is Choose Love. Inara is also a wonderful organization working to help children impacted by conflict. If you can’t donate right now, sign up for their emails to stay up to date and learn about the many ways we can be an activist working towards the healing of the world. Oh and follow the Good Newspaper immediately so that you see more stories of people doing in the world.
Read out loud. To yourself. To your dog. To a small child who is used to screens. Remind yourself, and them, of the goodness of pages you can hold and stories and the little bit of golden truth buried in the heart of each one. Poetry in particular is helpful for this. Perhaps start with the charming book from my childhood, Falling Up.
Ask for help. This is remarkably hard to do (but I did get some good practice last year when I shattered my arm and had to rely on friends and family for everything for a while). But don’t be shy, it builds trust and a sense of community when we ask each other for help. Most recently for me that looked like asking my dear (and brilliant) friend Caroline Lunne for her ideas on a project for the anti-human trafficking organization I work for, my friend J for her wisdom, and my sisters for generally everything. It’s good to rely on people. And speaking of that …
Practice being “the village”. Maybe I’m the only one who fantasizes about the proverbial village … but I think one of the best ways to be a human right now is to actually practice being the village. In your current literal village. Apartment building though it may be. Suburb. City street. Let’s talk to our neighbors. Babysit our kid’s friends for free. Tend to a small plot of earth or a few plants perched on a windowsill. Befriend the stray cat. Support our friends small businesses or artistic endeavors. Let the friend of a friend crash on your couch. These kinds of things restore the soul. Being the village isn’t convenient or efficient. It is good.
Anyway, at this bizarre and wobbly and wonderful start of a new year, these are a few of the things I’m finding helpful. I’m curious to see what 2026 holds … and regardless of what comes, all we can do is look for the delight and beauty in everyday life. It’s always there for the noticing.
xx
Ellery Frost
P.S. Starting Feb 1st, you can join The Letter Club by upgrading to a paid subscription here on Substack! Once a month, I mail a typewritten letter to you (in a lovely envelope with a charming stamp to your real physical mailbox) with notes on being easily delighted, book recommendations, and more personal reflections from my life and travels. If you want to join this gentle rebellion against our hyper-digital world and add a little more romance to your life, become a subscriber here! It’s less than a latte — just $5/month to cover postage and supplies :)
glad your NYE party was a success